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Friday, November 7, 2008

Expectations are killers

or at very least one of the things that seems to hurt us the most ....

I think one of the things I find the hardest is having the expectation that people will treat you with the same consideration, loyalty, compassion, unselfishness, honesty, respect etc that you give them - and it always comes as a shock when they don't. Some how you don't seem to be able to shake the hope - the expectation that they will see the light and act in a moral and ethical manner. Now in reality they are not doing anything to us - its us that are doing it to ourselves - by even having this expectation.

There is one person in my life that I keep hoping against hope that they will learn to love and put their ego aside for the betterment of the children they have - however - every time they prove me wrong (or right as the case may be) Now of course - the only person that suffers (aside from the children involved) is me. The person who is perpetuating this behaviour doesn't suffer at all (well unless you believe in karma then at some stage it will come back to them)

Its a hard place to be - if you give away all your expectations of moral behaviour from other people then you risk becoming negative and cynical - however if you continue to have hope and positive expectations you risk hurt and people thinking your naiive and taking advantage of that.

So what do we do - which is better? Try and see the good - live in hope - trust that one day the expectation you have will be fulfilled? or let it go - accept it - move through it - acknowledge that the expectations is actually damaging to you - and not helping the other person act appropriately ...

hmmm I think I may have just answered my own question - if only it was that easy ......

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