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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Gordon Ramsay really should read ....

Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

I'm sick (which is a very rare thing for me - I don't have time to be sick) ... so today I actually watched TV ... (something else I don't have time for)

Well I have to say that watching Hells Kitchen was something that I really could have lived my whole life without seeing. I think more disturbing than Gordon Ramsay's total lack of respect for the people on there - was the peoples lack of respect for themselves in allowing anyone to talk to them in the way he does.

Ok yes - I realise this is "reality" TV - and obviously this is his "thing" swearing at and abusing people ... but come on! what example are we setting our children by promoting this man, giving him a TV programme, making him rich and famous and allowing him to act in such an appalling manner towards people. This send the wrong message to our children - that we actually condone this behaviour - and if you want to make it in this world then you can treat people with such an appalling lack of regard and respect.

Now why can't we have a reality programme showing us Dale Carnegie's way of life in action - I really think that would be far more conducive to promoting the type of society that we all would want to live in surely.....

I actually wonder if these chef wannabes really learn anything - Gordon has such an opportunity to teach these people - to mentor them - to mould them - these people are eager to learn from him (goodness knows why!?) ....

I suppose if he was kind and positive it wouldn't make for interesting TV viewing - what a sad reflection of our society ...

Right I suppose I should get off my soap box now ... oh and yes ... before you ask .. the TV does have an off button .. which I used ...

Rather than having Gordon's negativity ringing in your ears - I will leave you with a couple of pearls from Dale instead...

First of all you need to build a positive relationship - one of the most important ways of doing this is
1) Never criticize, condemn or complain -Criticism is never welcome. It makes people become defensive and resentful. Positive reinforcement is far more effective.
2) Make the other person feel important - People want to feel important and appreciated.
Praise their strengths and they’ll strive to reinforce your opinion of them.

If you need to "criticise" then ensure it is from a place that is positive and driving for improvement ....
1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation. - It is easier to take criticism after some praise. Look for things done well before calling attention to failings.
2) Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person - Creates a common bond. No one is perfect. Use the fact that you have overcome the same challenges to work as motivation for the other person.
3) Call attention to people's errors indirectly - Direct, harsh criticism can destroy incentive to improve. (I hope Gordon Ramsay realises that!)
4) Let the other person save face - The fear of embarrassment can make people become defensive. Always try to give criticism in private.
5) Make the fault seem easy to correct - Encourage them by making the faults seem easy to correct and new skills easy to learn.
6) Praise the slightest improvement and every improvement - Praise reinforces positive behaviour
7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to - eg. “You’re very capable, but your recent projects aren’t up to your old standards.” Respecting others’ capabilities will empower them to succeed.

"Believe that you will succeed, and you will" - Dale Carnegie

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