Friends are soul food

Sorry really bad photo of my latest abstract painting - another one done specifically for the Easter Show Art Awards . This kept me up til the early hours of the morning and I had to admit defeat eventually and go to bed before I had finished it.

Title: Love's Divide

Artist: Sophia Elise
Media: Acrylic - white, black and grey hand painted dots on a red background
Size: 36cm x 46cm
SOLD

Today I caught up with a very dear friend of mine for lunch. It has been a couple of months since we really caught up properly - other than emails and phone calls and sadly at the funeral of her father a few weeks ago.

I can tell you though it was absolute soul food to see her. I have a couple of friends who just the thought of seeing lifts my spirits more than words can express. What treasured friendships those are.

She also gave me my Christmas present that I had accidentally left at her house - a gorgeous little daily diary with a new quote for every day - cos she knows how much I love them. And take a guess what the quotes were about - friendship.

So very fitting that I share them with you here .....

"A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain, than to have to watch their friend suffer"- Amanda Gier

"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand" - Karl Augustus Menninger

Royal Easter Show Art Awards 2009

Here's my latest painting - it's being exhibited at the Royal Easter Show Art Awards in Greenlane, Auckland April 8th - 13th 2009



Title: Journey of Life
Artist: Sophia Elise
Media: Mixed media and Acrylic - heavily textured with white, black and grey hand painted dots on a red background
Size: 61cm x 91cm
For Sale: sophia@sophiaelise.co.nz

The act of creation is to love something that does not yet exist into existence - Stephen C Paul

Sometimes I get wrapped up in the little details of every day, and I forget to step back and look at what's really important. You're the one who brings that big, beautiful picture of life into focus for me. And as all else fades into the background, what I see is you and your love and the happiness of sharing life with you - Annonymous

Friendships ....

Don't you just love friendships where you may not talk for months although - even though the other person is in your thoughts all the time - then when you do see each other it's like no time has passed. The bond that you have is a genuine, deep, loving one that time does not displace.

Last night I caught up with a friend of mine and we share that special bond. He's finally settled down and very loved up with his new partner. I know that he's happy and content and I'm thrilled for him. I understand that there is not the same need to see each other as frequently - nor time - and we both know that it doesn't mean we love each other any less. I am lucky that I have a few of these friendships - although we are separated by geography or life circumstances our friendships remain true and strong.

Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after many years apart, Their friendship is as true as ever. - Deng Ming-Dao

This is a special friendship for many reasons - one being that there are few people you can really truly be 100% yourself with without fear of judgement. This friend is one of those people. He and I can say whatever we are thinking or feeling - we understand each other - feel for each other - and have been there for each other through the good times and the bad. Our love and friendship is unconditional.

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

With these type of friendships they are ones where you have felt an instant connection with each other - not because you share the same social circle, coffee group, work place - but because for some reason you have been drawn to the inner person and felt an immediate kinship with them.

Once in a while you meet someone, and soon you both discover the two of you are truly something special to each other... you share your thoughts and feelings so relaxed, so openly, and right away you know your friendship's truly meant to be. - Gary Harrington

It's funny - you never really know who your true friends are in life until hardship strikes and then you can be surprised to find out who your real friends are. We often find that its the people who instead of giving us advice, solutions, cures etc have actually taken the time to share our pain and treat us with gentleness.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. - Henri Nouwen

Friendships are not always easy - remember the school yard cliques, the kids that you wanted to play with that wouldn't play with you, the friend you thought was your best friend who ended up telling your secrets to others, the jealousy you felt when they were being more friendly to others than to you and the hurt when friendships ended for whatever reason. Sometimes we can still feel this way. We can never control anothers actions - only ours. All we can do in the face of these situations is to continue to be the best friend that we can be. Sometimes in life friendships are there for a time - to meet a need for one or both people and if in time they aren't meant to be don't part on bad terms send them on their journey with love and acknowledge that you just may not be part of the rest of their journey.

To love a friend intensely, yet with pure detachment;
to let him be equally or even more a friend to others;
to expect no affection, while being duly appreciative of whatever affection is given;
to think of how one can help, rather than of what gratification one can get;
to be constant in friendship and unselfish helpfulness;
to bring to the physical level the beautiful, selfless spirit of the higher planes - this is the ideal love. - N Sri Ram

Ask a busy person to do it .....

Several months ago someone said to me didn't you know that if you're always busy you will be the one that always gets asked to do things .... I had never heard that before and wanted to know why that is ..... Donald Mitchell sums it up well in the article below .... maybe I should stop being so busy then my load won't get increased ... ..alternatively I could say no..... hmmmmmm

"If You Need to Get Something Done on Time, Ask a Busy Person to Help You" by Donald W. Mitchell

One of the first things that any business leader learns is that some people can accomplish a hundred times more than other people can. Assign a critical task to one of these highly productive people, and you will be most pleased with the timely results . . . no matter how busy the person is. How do highly productive people do it? They pay attention to the following principles of working with good discipline

1. Structure work to make good use of the time available. That means if some of the required tasks take longer than others, they start those lengthy activities first. In addition, they schedule all tasks to be accomplished over the ideal length of time and completed in optimal order.

2. They only take on assignments for which they have enough time and resources to achieve good results and still meet the final deadline. Following this discipline usually means planning a project in some detail before agreeing to work on it.

3. They delegate whatever can be done acceptably by someone else so that the organization accomplishes more than it otherwise would. This means being aware of what other people in the organization are capable of doing and what they are working on.

4. They assign subtasks to outside specialists and organizations when such resources can add important value to the project results. This requires understanding the quality of work that can be done internally and externally within the necessary schedule.

5. They know which disciplines can add important benefits to an assignment. To choose the right disciplines requires a lot of continuing learning, experience with a variety of tasks, and an interest in making on-going improvements.

6. They keep asking if anything that’s been started is no longer needed. They drop activities that are unimportant or which have proven to be inappropriate.

With so much to do before becoming highly effective, how do such busy people cram in all the efforts required to become so highly productive? It 's easy: They combine a never-ending thirst to learn with efficient resources for gathering new knowledge and insights while continually polishing and building on what they already know.

No No No ....

Already this morning I have heard from two very good friends alarmed by my last post figuring that it must relate to my life in some way ... although I'm sure in the past I have been in that situation I was talking from an abstract point of view ... so don't panic guys! :-)

However, what I was doing was setting up for my blog post today which is about the
Five languages of apology .....

1) Expressing Regret - “Expressing Regret” is the apology language that centres on emotional hurt. The person is admitting guilt and remorse for causing pain to the other person. They don't try to make an excuse, they take personal responsibility and with it they make a sincere commitment to rebuild the relationship. For people who need an apology in this way they look simply for “I’m sorry”

2) Accepting Responsibility - It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth and no one likes to be seen as a failure. However, we all make mistakes, we are going to make bad judgements that hurt people sometimes, we are going to need to admit that we were wrong and to accept responsibility for our own failures.

For many people, all they want is to hear are the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology doesn't include accepting responsibility for their actions, many people won't feel that the apology was sincere. Many people need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be less than perfect, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.

3) Make Restitution - In our society, many people believe that wrong acts deserve punishment and the person who did wrong should make right. In order to be sincere with this type of apology the person first needs to know the others love language to be able to make restitution. The specific love language needs to be used (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) to make this apology the most effective. Some people may feel as though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for the person that needs to hear they are loved.

For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitution, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your partner and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.

4) Genuinely Repent - For some people, repentance is the main factor in an apology. Some people will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it's not accompanied by the other persons desire to alter their behavior to avoid the situation in the future. My mother used to say to us as children that sorry means you will never do it again.

One important aspect of genuine repentance is verbalising your desire to change. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you don't verbalise your desire to change to the other person then they will still be hurt. For this apology to work you need to set goals for the change. After you create realistic goals you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking small steps towards repentance instead of insisting on change all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.

Remember that change is hard. Constructive change is not always instantly successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. However,anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.

5) Request Forgiveness - In some relationships, a person wants to hear the other person ask for forgiveness. They want the person to acknowledge that their is a need for forgiveness. By asking for forgiveness the person is really asking the other person to still love them. Asking for forgiveness shows the other person that you want to see the relationship fully repaired and proves to that person that you know you did something wrong and you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done.

Requesting forgiveness means you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the other person. You are leaving the final decision up to them – to forgive or not forgive. Requesting forgiveness is a hard thing to do as it often leaves the person feeling vulnerable and with a fear of rejection. Many people find it hard to ask for forgiveness because it means admitting that you failed. However, realising that all people make mistakes at some point means that you are not alone in feeling like you have failed.

Remember don't treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.

Sit with Pain

One of the worst things is knowing that you have dealt your relationship a sever blow - maybe even irreparable. Often it wasn't premeditated and said int he heat of the moment when all you hurts drew into one explosive point and you lashed out. We all know you can't take it back and it's pretty clear when you've cut this deep because your partner goes quiet - you have cut them to the core - past the place where anger protects them. You may almost feel sick knowing that you have not only hurt your partner in this way but also disappointed them deeply.

We all want to be there for our partners int he bad times. How do you deal with it when you are the bad time - some of us run - some of project and blame the other but what we need to do is sit with our pain. We need to understand that our partner won't be able to forget what's happened even if they forgive you. Once you have sincerely apologised the only thing you can do is sit with the pain that you have caused - show them that despite the pain inflicted you are big and strong enough to live with it's consequences.

A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over. – Benjamin Franklin

We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to help us through the never-ending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to comfort us along the way. - Marlin Finch Lupus

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. - Lao-Tzu

Five Love Languages

It still surprises me that some people haven't heard about Gary Chapman's five love languages. I almost feel that things this basic to human relationships should be taught in schools. It helps us to connect with other people and understand them thus reducing conflict, pain and hurt.

None of us in a relationship want to hurt the person we are with. We love them and want what's best for them - or we are supposed to - if not why would we choose to be with them. Sometimes we can forget that we are on the same team - and that this person isn't saying or doing (or not saying or doing) something to upset us deliberately. We all know communication is the key to a relationship - any relationship.

We want the other person to know that we love them and care for them but we all have different ways of expressing love and different ways we need to receive love. Gary Chapman broke this down into 5 basic love languages.

1) Words of Affirmation:
This person needs verbal appreciation to feel loved. It speaks volumes to them. It doesn't have to be grand words - simple things like "You look great", "You're the best cook", "I love the way you do ...." can be enough for this person to feel truly loved. Offering encouragement is another way eg. supporting a difficult decision, praising progress they've made on a project etc. If words of affirmation are the primary love language then offering encouragement will help them to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

“I can live for two months on a good compliment” - Mark Twain

2) Quality Time:
Quality time is about focusing all your energy and undivided attention on the other person. Quality conversation involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a loving, uninterrupted situation. Often they are just wanting a sympathetic ear, to feel that they are truly being heard - not someone to solve their problems.

People feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together brings people closer and give you things that you can reminisce over in the future. Quality time and communication is a necessary ingredient to happy relationships.

3) Receiving Gifts:
Some people treasure gifts as an expression of love and devotion. They feel a lack of gifts represents a lack of love. Fortunately this is the easiest love language to learn. However, if you are a saver it may be difficult for you to understand spending money as a way of showing love - remember this is not about investing money in gifts but in your relationship.

These gifts don't need to be every day or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. If the persons primary love language is receiving gifts then any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

4) Acts of Service:
Sometimes doing simple jobs around the house can be an expression of love as it requires time, effort and energy. This can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion.

It's essential to understand what acts of service will show that person you love them to avoid conflict in this area eg. if you spend the day washing the car and walking the dog but your partner feels that the washing and dishes are more important then they may feel unloved, despite the fact that you did many other jobs throughout the day.

It's also important that these acts of service are done out of love and not obligation. If these are done for the wrong reason than the partner doing these acts may feel resentment - they need to come from the kindness of your heart. These little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

5) Physical Touch:
Many people feel the most loved when they receive physical contact. Sex makes many partners feel secure and loved in a relationship. However, it is only one aspect of physical touch. It is important to understand how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to various touches. Some touches may be irritating and uncomfortable for your partner. Physical touch can be big things like back massages or lovemaking or little acts such as a hand on the shoulder or stroke of hair.

All relationships have crises and in these times physical touch is very important. A hug can communicate your huge love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice. Remember though that what type of touch makes you feel secure may not be what makes your partner happy.


Summary
We need to understand what it is that makes the other person feel loved. And what it is that makes us feel loved. There is no point us expressing our love to a person with gifts if their primary love language is words of affirmation. It won't matter how many gifts they get they will not feel loved. They may understand that you are showing you love them but they won't necessarily feel loved.

If we are not feeling loved in our relationship then we need to explain this to the other person - not as an attack or a criticism. Remember this may all be new to them to - they may be mortified to find out that you aren't feeling loved by them despite the things they may be saying or doing.

We often express love to our partners using our primary love language - this is a common trap we fall into - we know what we need to feel loved so give that out. But we need to make sure that that is what the other person needs.

To find out what your primary love language is http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

Boast, Brag and Praise

In our family, from a young age, we were taught that we shouldn't brag, boast or blow our own trumpet. Always be humble, to brag was to show arrogance. As we have got older it has been difficult for us to receive compliments and praise from others. It can be embarrassing as it draws attention to us. We also feel that people shouldn't say those things about us and we may even feel we're not worthy of them.

It took me a long time to realise that when you argued with a compliment instead of just accepting it and saying "thank you" that it actually devalued the other person and was hurtful to them - you were saying to them that their opinion didn't matter and that they were wrong. I realised that I needed to put the other person feelings before my own and say thank you. That's all they want to hear.

However, despite not bragging about ourselves we found it easy to rave about others - to point out their positives - to shout it from the roof tops for everyone to hear. Whether it was about our partner, best friend, sister or child etc. Giving "warm fuzzies" was much easier than taking them. We realised that this was one way that we make people in our lives feel valued and loved - appreciated for who they are, what they do, what they achieve - and shows everyone else that we are proud to have them in our lives.

Not everyone finds this easy to do ... but it's such an important thing to be able to do ..... think about it ...... When was the last time you bragged about your loved one - or they about you? The proud sharing of achievements, talents, things they've done that lets everyone know how much you respect each other. What do you admire about your partner? Is it that they are different, unique?

If you find it a struggle to publicly praise them - sit down and work out why that is? Praising your partner doesn't take away from you in any way - it only adds to you - shows people that you are proud to have this person in your life - makes your partner feel valued and respected and the flow on effects of improving your relationship. What have you got to loose from singing their praises?


When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves - Willaim Arthur Ward

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves - Sir James M. Barrie

Differences ....

I've had many discussions over the years about what works in relationships and what doesn't - of course as expected there are numerous theories and lots of opposing views - from you need to have the same interests - to opposites attract.

Well I guess ultimately whether either of those extreme options work depends on the individuals. If the people both enjoy extending themselves, enjoy challenges, are eager to learn, enjoy new experiences and find that a necessary thing in order to ensure the relationship doesn't get boring or stale then obviously they are going to support that theory.

Or if you are happy for each other to have independent interests and different thoughts on subjects without feeling that is going to threaten your relationship then that's going to be the winning formula - accepting each other unconditionally.

However, if you're the kind of person that enjoys what you know - and have no desire to try new things - that what you know, gives you security that you crave and having someone that thinks the same and does the same things is what you want because you don't have to feel challenged - or potentially risk conflict - then obviously that's the theory you will support.

Of course if you are one extreme and your partner is the other extreme then you will find it hard to meet a common ground and that's when conflict will arise.

So I don't think it's necessarily that a certain formula is the one that works - it obviously depends on the people involved.

I would be one of the most non sporty, athletic people you could ever meet (although my teenage boyfriend begs to differ on this - apparently he thought I was quite sporty back then) I've never been interested in watching sport - or really playing it - exercise bores me.

The largest irony - today I walked my first round of gold just watching - even doing a bit of caddying - Despite living on a golf course for the first 16 years of my life - I have never ever watched a game.

I couldn't resist texting my very good friend to tell her - she said - OMG I don't even know you anymore! lol This in light of the fact in the last month I've also attended 3 touch rugby games, watched some one day cricket and rugby 7's (ok I have to confess to having to ask someone just now what that funny game was called!)

Anyway - I can't say that today's golf game was the most exciting 2 hours of my life - but I loved seeing what invokes passion in people - getting an insight and an understanding into what someone else loves.

I will never be a sportsman - or go out of my way to see the games - it doesn't ignite my inner fire - however I love learning new things - and I love being stimulated and having my horizons broadened. Amazing though how your interest can be sparked when you meet someone that is so passionately involved with something you're not. I have to admit that I felt that I was perhaps getting a bit on dimensional with all the art art art and more art in my life. Now its nice to be able to have a conversation with a non art person that is about something they are interested in.

and of course - imagine how that person feels to know that you care about them enough to take the time to listen - to learn - to really understand everything about them .....

Love makes us open our eyes - makes us want to learn - makes us want to be better people - makes us want to do something for others that we may never have done before ... what an amazing emotion love is ...

Tolerance and celebration of individual differences is the fire that fuels lasting love - Tom Hannah

Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others. - William A. Ward

Love .....

Title: Bursting with Love
Media: Mixed Media
SOLD

The quality for this month is Love. I was talking to my children on Sunday about what love really means, how do we show love, what does unselfishness of love mean etc. Naturally this flowed on to specifics of behaviours of various people in our lives and things that happen at home and at school.

So, yesterday we sat down and had a family meeting discussing the rules of the house that we all need to work on - to make the house more harmonious and more loving. The kids agreed with all the rules and they were told that once the behaviour improves then there will be a special one off family treat. This was not going to be a regular thing as the behaviours were ones that are expected of them in everyday life. (The big bonus to them is that if their behaviour improves then they don't loose privileges)

As we went through them we discussed which ones we all needed to work on and which ones were more specific for us. At the end of the meeting my son said "but you might slow us down by not improving as fast" (while I was trying to stifle my laughter my daughter replied "well we will add another rule in then - we have to work as a team at all times" Once we had agreed on the rules my son said that we should all sign it as a commitment to it and that we agreed.

This morning - what a difference - there was no yelling - they were ready before they had to leave for school - they were talking politely to each other - and listening to me. YAY! I was so proud of them - for their maturity when we discussed it - for reaching an agreement as a family - for committing to it - and for putting it into practice. And of course kids are always eager for praise and expressions of love - the kind, positive words go so much further than the negative ones.

Love for your children is like no other love in this world.

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour
I would die for you
This is the miracle of life
- Maureen Hawkins

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L Evans

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless - Mother Teresa

Loss ....

Title: Grief
SOLD

My very dear friend lost her father late last week. It has been an incredibly emotional last few months for her and her family and although it was a kind release for him in the end, loss always leaves a hole for the ones left behind.

This friend has a very dear place in my children's (and my) heart - and although they have never met her father they wanted to go to the funeral so that they could be there for her. I felt that they are a bit young to go to funerals yet so they decided to write her a card each. I left them to do this on their own - to see what would come naturally. What resulted was really quite refreshingly honest.

My 9 year old son created a card with "Sorry" as the title - he drew a picture of a person with a sad face saying sorry and handing a person some flowers. That person had a smile on their face and said thanks. inside he wrote - I'm sorry about your dad and what happened to him. I wish you all my happiness and love. I hope you find joy soon. Love ....

My 7 year old daughter wrote - Sorry your dad died. Sending you lots of kisses and hugs and love. Love from ...

It makes you wonder whether sympathy and empathy are natural emotions and reactions in children - or whether they are learnt - most likely a combination of both. Loss certainly is something that brings people together in many ways.

There were two beautiful poems in the order of service that I want to share with you.

The Broken Chain
"We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again." - Anon

God Saw You Getting Tired
"God saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be
So He put His arms around you
And whispered 'Come with Me.
'With tearful eyes
We watched you suffer
And saw you fade away
Although we loved you dearly
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands at rest
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.
It's lonesome here without you
We miss you more each day
Life doesn't seem the same
Since you've gone away.
When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong
We seem to hear you whisper
'Cheer up and carry on.'
Each time we see your picture
You seem to smile and say
'Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping
We'll meet again someday.'

Opportunities come from unexpected places

Title: All things Flowing
Media: Acrylic on Canvas - black, wqhite and grey handpainted dots on a red background.
Artist: Sophia Elise
For Sale sophia@sophiaelise.co.nz

Recession - that's all we seem to hear about these days and as much as we can argue that the media is actually perpetuating the recession the reality is still that people are holding onto their money. For the first time ever an NZ Art Guild exhibition had no sales - this has never happened. However, as I keep telling the artists in the guild they need to keep their profiles up during a recession, keep on creating, exhibiting etc - you never know what other opportunities may come from that - and at least you ensure that your name doesn't disappear and you are then faced with the struggle to break back into the art market when the recession is over.

Yesterday morning was the take down of the NZ Art Guild Life Exhibition and Tony, the owner of Helena Bay Gallery, came to collect one of the artworks he bought. While he was there some other artworks caught his eye - emerging artist Linda Paul's fabulous abstract, geometric, graffiti art style almost artwork, Jennifer Christiansen kiwiana artwork and my dot art.

Often as artists we exhibit with the primary focus being sales and we forget that that isn't the only reason to exhibit - With this exhibition we may not have had any sales - but three artists got picked up by a gallery which they may not have had the opportunity for. That in itself is a huge success in my books esp for the artists concerned.

On the flip side.... Life really can be rather ironic - only 3 days before I had made the decision to enter the Royal Easter Show Art Awards and committed the three artworks from the exhibition to that - so now those three are up at Helena Bay Gallery and I had better start painting three more to replace them at the show!

Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent. – Sophia Loren