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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Friendships ....

Don't you just love friendships where you may not talk for months although - even though the other person is in your thoughts all the time - then when you do see each other it's like no time has passed. The bond that you have is a genuine, deep, loving one that time does not displace.

Last night I caught up with a friend of mine and we share that special bond. He's finally settled down and very loved up with his new partner. I know that he's happy and content and I'm thrilled for him. I understand that there is not the same need to see each other as frequently - nor time - and we both know that it doesn't mean we love each other any less. I am lucky that I have a few of these friendships - although we are separated by geography or life circumstances our friendships remain true and strong.

Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after many years apart, Their friendship is as true as ever. - Deng Ming-Dao

This is a special friendship for many reasons - one being that there are few people you can really truly be 100% yourself with without fear of judgement. This friend is one of those people. He and I can say whatever we are thinking or feeling - we understand each other - feel for each other - and have been there for each other through the good times and the bad. Our love and friendship is unconditional.

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

With these type of friendships they are ones where you have felt an instant connection with each other - not because you share the same social circle, coffee group, work place - but because for some reason you have been drawn to the inner person and felt an immediate kinship with them.

Once in a while you meet someone, and soon you both discover the two of you are truly something special to each other... you share your thoughts and feelings so relaxed, so openly, and right away you know your friendship's truly meant to be. - Gary Harrington

It's funny - you never really know who your true friends are in life until hardship strikes and then you can be surprised to find out who your real friends are. We often find that its the people who instead of giving us advice, solutions, cures etc have actually taken the time to share our pain and treat us with gentleness.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. - Henri Nouwen

Friendships are not always easy - remember the school yard cliques, the kids that you wanted to play with that wouldn't play with you, the friend you thought was your best friend who ended up telling your secrets to others, the jealousy you felt when they were being more friendly to others than to you and the hurt when friendships ended for whatever reason. Sometimes we can still feel this way. We can never control anothers actions - only ours. All we can do in the face of these situations is to continue to be the best friend that we can be. Sometimes in life friendships are there for a time - to meet a need for one or both people and if in time they aren't meant to be don't part on bad terms send them on their journey with love and acknowledge that you just may not be part of the rest of their journey.

To love a friend intensely, yet with pure detachment;
to let him be equally or even more a friend to others;
to expect no affection, while being duly appreciative of whatever affection is given;
to think of how one can help, rather than of what gratification one can get;
to be constant in friendship and unselfish helpfulness;
to bring to the physical level the beautiful, selfless spirit of the higher planes - this is the ideal love. - N Sri Ram

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