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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Boast, Brag and Praise

In our family, from a young age, we were taught that we shouldn't brag, boast or blow our own trumpet. Always be humble, to brag was to show arrogance. As we have got older it has been difficult for us to receive compliments and praise from others. It can be embarrassing as it draws attention to us. We also feel that people shouldn't say those things about us and we may even feel we're not worthy of them.

It took me a long time to realise that when you argued with a compliment instead of just accepting it and saying "thank you" that it actually devalued the other person and was hurtful to them - you were saying to them that their opinion didn't matter and that they were wrong. I realised that I needed to put the other person feelings before my own and say thank you. That's all they want to hear.

However, despite not bragging about ourselves we found it easy to rave about others - to point out their positives - to shout it from the roof tops for everyone to hear. Whether it was about our partner, best friend, sister or child etc. Giving "warm fuzzies" was much easier than taking them. We realised that this was one way that we make people in our lives feel valued and loved - appreciated for who they are, what they do, what they achieve - and shows everyone else that we are proud to have them in our lives.

Not everyone finds this easy to do ... but it's such an important thing to be able to do ..... think about it ...... When was the last time you bragged about your loved one - or they about you? The proud sharing of achievements, talents, things they've done that lets everyone know how much you respect each other. What do you admire about your partner? Is it that they are different, unique?

If you find it a struggle to publicly praise them - sit down and work out why that is? Praising your partner doesn't take away from you in any way - it only adds to you - shows people that you are proud to have this person in your life - makes your partner feel valued and respected and the flow on effects of improving your relationship. What have you got to loose from singing their praises?

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves - Willaim Arthur Ward

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves - Sir James M. Barrie

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