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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Too lazy to hate

Title: Three Sisters
Media: Acrylic
Size: Diptych 30cm x 60cm

I was asked an unusual question today by a friend "with all the shit that has happened to you how do you end up not hating the people who did it?" It really took me by surprise. I had never thought about it. I hadn't even consciously realised that I didn't hate them. Maybe being angry at the initial time like any other person - or feeling hurt but hating them hadn't really entered my head as an option.

Of course I said the usual things that most people do - what's the point in hating - hatred only hurts you - it's a negative emotion that eats away at you and can bring no positive effect into your life - it doesn't affect the person you hate because they continue on with their life - that there's really no point carrying a grudge for anyone or any wrong doing - what's done is done - learn from it - move on - send the person who wronged you love. ( I have to say that there is a disclaimer here - I think if anyone harmed my children I would probably hate them)

Some of my friends have said to me that I have a big heart - am a good person - am forgiving etc And I have to confess that it's nothing as altruistic as that at all. Ultimately hating takes up too much energy - and I said to my friend today - I'm too lazy to hate ... it' s too much hard work to carry that poison around and expend the thought and energy that is required to keep such a negative emotion alive - my life is too busy and I have much more important things to put my energy into.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.


Kay said...

How very true. And how liberating (I discovered quite recently) to be able to forgive and forget a wrong, and respond warmly to one who does not have your best interests at heart!

Sophia Elise said...

Yes it does give you a sense of freedom doesnt it - and peace within ....

My grandfather always said forgive but never forget - I find it too hard to try and remember though lol - it's the same as holding on to those negative emotions - it requires energy.

In fact I have people who say "but don't you remember when that person did that to you" - and I go - oh yeah - I forgot ... and just shrug.

It really doesn't matter in the whole scheme of life - and is the others persons issue to deal with ultimately.

Giving love and understanding to someone who has wronged you is really empowering.