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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Being Indispensable

Title: Unfinished business
Media: Mixed media, resin and acrylic
Size: 60cm x 50cm
FOR SALE - Contact me

So many times as a nurse I see people who are just about dead on their feet. When I ask why they are not at home in bed, the answer I get far too often is that they cant take time off - I'm too busy - I have this project due - They wouldn't be able to cope without me.

I then ask them what would happen if they got hit by a bus tomorrow (god forbid). Surprisingly enough they acknowledge that somehow the company would still continue to function.

Its a form of arrogance for us to assume that we truly are indispensable especially to our own personal detriment and ultimately the detriment of others around us. We need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. We owe it to ourselves to love ourselves more than our work - to make sure that we take the time out to rest and recover (whether its due to stress, exhaustion or ill health) We are doing no one any favours by being a martyr.

No one is indispensable. We may feel that way at times we may even believe it - in fact a lot of use would like to think we are because it validates us and gives us a life purpose.

Why do we have this need to be indispensable - whether it be at home, work to our spouse etc? We exhaust ourselves by doing so but end up feeling secure. It's because we wrongly believe that this will ensure our place in their lives.

Guess what? We don't need to do this in order to secure a place - we have that place - we need to be confident in that - and be kind to ourselves.

Being indispensable is destructive not only to us but our relationships. Often people come to resent those that they are reliant upon and who try and control their lives.

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