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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Ways to show children you love them

So many children are neglected/abused in some way in our society - and NZ has one of the highest suicide rates in NZ - we all need to work together to raise the children in our community - its doesnt matter if they are your own - your nieces/nephews - your neighbours - your colleagues .... we all need to work together to give "our" children the best possible life they can have - and a future bright with possibilities ..... they are innocent beings born into this world - into their lives and we have an obligation to ensure that they are loved and cared for and can be the best they can be ....

22 ways to show children you care
1. Say the word “love” a lot.
2. Be careful not to criticize; simply tell them a better way.
3. If you withdraw your attention, avoid withdrawing your love.
4. Teach the principles of “why,” not just “what” to do or not to do.
5. Discipline with love, especially if you are angry. If you “punish” or “take away,” follow up with love.
6. Remember that children often reflect what they have or have not been taught.
7. Teach them to trust the truth by experiencing you as a role model of the truth and a model of loving them for telling the truth.
8. Be patient, not just tolerant.
9. Ask them what they need from you – and do whatever you can to meet those needs.
10. When you are stressed and unavailable, help them know that your condition is about your life, not them, and reaffirm your love.
11. Remember that children often need love the most when they “deserve” it the least.
12. Listen to them, a lot. Avoid interrupting. Give them your undivided attention.
13. Help them learn the feeling of regret, not just to say they are sorry.
14. Apologize when you make a mistake or do something you regret.
15. Teach them about ethics and values and principles they can apply in choices and decision-making.
16. Never make fun of them, shame them or blame them. It’s not their “fault.” It’s an indication of what they need, or what they need to learn, or what they need to unlearn.
17. Tell them how much you like being with them, if you mean it. If you don’t, examine what about the relationship dynamics – at that moment or in general – affects your not feeling that way. Then find a way to change that from within yourself.
18. Expect and support their best; don’t expect or require perfection. Praise their efforts; avoid judging them.
19. Avoid comparing them to anyone else; instead, help them develop their unique self and way of being.
20. Know that they will respect what you say if they respect who you are.
21. Encourage them to share, and teach them to share, but don’t make them share. If they feel enough love in their life they will be able to share; if they cannot share, it means they need to feel more love.
22. Hug and touch them often when they are young. When they are older, instead of saying, “Give me a hug,” say, “I would like a hug, would you?” Let hugging be their choice.

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